I’m just focusing on all of the good that I have in my life right now, in this very moment. I am keeping the bad stuff and the bad thoughts away from me. I can’t engage those thoughts. I know that I need to live in the present and keep all of the positive energy and love I’ve been given over the last 8 days with me and not take it for granted. I know that once I engage in the bad stuff that I will sink back into despair mode and fuck that!
I have been shown so much love and support that it is overwhelming. I struggle with feeling undeserving or unworthy but friends insist that I do deserve it all and more. I am so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life. Old BFFs and new, I was treated like royalty this past weekend. Many good, home cooked meals, fun cocktails, crafty indulgences and even some late night swimming! I am a happy, proud and blessed fatty indeed! 😉
Now that I’m back home from my weekend away, I do feel the need to protect myself and my heart a bit from the ills of the world. I just want to keep this sense of joy and peace with me. I’m not ready to let it go just yet. I am operating on a level of denial, I realize. All the bad stuff, yeah, it’s just around the corner. I know this, but there ain’t shit I can do about it or to prevent it either. So I won’t give it any thought or energy. Perhaps this is how I will continue to manage my stress and anxiety from here on out. I really can’t know. It feels right for right now and so be it. Happy bubble time is in effect.
What I do know is that putting time and energy and love into the things that matter most reward us immeasurably. I am so rich in the life that I have (just not in money). The superficial stuff never matters, it really doesn’t. And while I crave stability and comfort, pushing myself outside of what is comfortable has always been the right thing for me to do. I am learning to have faith in myself and the universe and to trust that things will be okay eventually. It has to be. 😉
I hope you had a moment or moments of joy this past weekend as well. If you’ve been struggling, too, know that things are happening and picking up and your goodness is on its way! If you’re feeling less than, hopeless, lonely, unworthy…reach out! Someone cares and wants to help and be there for you. Don’t know who that person is? How about me?!?! Hit me up: email@example.com for an unbiased ear, ultra-absorbent shoulder, empathy, no nonsense advice or just someone to chat with. And know that you deserve all of the good stuff and none of the bad. You are worth all of the love and every in the world.
Rad Fatty Love to ALL,