NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

My Honey-Lovin’ Arms!

September5

Sorry, that’s a lyric from Lykke Li’s “Get Some” and one of my most recent fave songs. But this post is about my arms. My big, fat, juicy, wobbly, strong, embracing, hugging, juggling, pale, freckled, occasionally sunburned or peeling from one, ARMS! While driving the other day, I was sitting at a stop light and felt the sun on my arm. I stroked my left arm from top to bottom and back again, unconsciously, to soothe the heat of the sun from it. This is when I looked down and it felt like I was looking at another person’s arm! It looked dry and sad and had lost it’s previously recognizable elasticity. *Whimper*

I vowed then and there that I would take better care of my arms! I even asked my husband to ask me when he gets home everyday if I’d moisturized my arms. So far he hasn’t asked me once, but I haven’t forgotten yet either, so we’re cool. My left upper arm was/is a bit flaky from a sunburn about two weeks ago. I knew this, lotion-ed it once, and went about my life. Why did I think that was enough? Why have I been ignoring my arms? Ugh!

Some history: Growing up my mother (who I have not seen since I was 16) was probably about the size I am now, give or take. She had large jiggly arms. But she also broke out on her upper arms a lot and would pick at them constantly. I always found this gross/disturbing/embarrassing, depending on my mood or where we were. It was an absent minded thing for her, if I recall. But I remember it and the way she would pull her arm flab towards her so that she could inspect and pick it. I swore to myself that I would never do that, that I would never be like or look like her. I lived much of my life living what I felt was the exact opposite lifestyle as her, only to have puberty kick me in the ass (hips, thighs, etc) and make me look so much like her. Only, my face looks just like my dad. Go figure!

Is this why I’ve neglected my arms so? If I was so passionate about not being anything like her, why let the arms that I rely on so much for every damned thing I do in the world go? Eh, actually, I’m done with the whole “letting it go” bullshit. I ignored these babies and I need to rectify that shit, pronto! And so I moisturize them everyday. I inspect them. I try to think loving and happy thoughts when I do this, too. I try to soothe my arms and let them know that I do care about them. This may sound so silly, but my arms ain’t what they used to be in terms of the skin itself. I would like more strength in my upper arms, but I struggle with keeping with anything I attempt to do to find or achieve that strength.

I preach self-care a lot on this blog. I try my best to practice what I preach, I really do. I am honest about my failings. And this is certainly one of them. I was surprised by this huge gap in my self-care routine. I was shocked at the visible changes in my arms that I’d somehow missed or ignored. I wonder what this means, if anything. Is it just simple neglect or taking them for granted? Or is this something more deeply seated within my subconscious due to the facts above about my mother? I don’t know, dude, I just don’t. But I do know that I willfully choose to change this. As I am staring age 34 down here real soon, I know a bit about skin elasticity and what I’ve got left I wanna take extra good  care of. Skin is so important, it keeps your insides, well, in! Ha! But seriously? I want to care for my whole self, all the bits and bobs, and maybe even help someone else discover what they’ve been neglecting, too.

Do you neglect (willfully or not) part of your body? Is there part of you that you purposefully ignore? Not just in looking, but in caring for, too? I would say that in America, a lot of people neglect their feet. They don’t care for them properly. I say this because my BFF P used to work in a shoe store for work shoes (constructions, nurses, etc) and he would tell me horror stories. People just ignore the hell outta their feet, man, and that makes me sad. I hope we can find a way to love our whole selves and not just the parts we prefer. Thanks for reading! <3

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posted under Blog, Bullshit, DIY, Easy, fat
12 Comments to

“My Honey-Lovin’ Arms!”

  1. On September 5th, 2011 at 4:10 am Lori Says:

    I ignored the hell out of my body too for a long while, I was ill, it had failed me and apparently I was mad at it. It didn’t help that my recent former partner (of nine years) made me feel about as worthless as a one pence piece. Then one night I got out of the bath looked at my dry body, hated the feel of it and smothered it in body lotion by candlelight, it felt great I kept it up now my body feels wonderfully soft and sensual again. Even when I get out the bath tired and fed up I force my self to pamper my body and appreciate the way it feels. And I’ll let you in on a little secret since doing this my sex drive has gone through the roof, a bit of a catch 22 at the moment naturally, but lord do I feel fine.

  2. On September 5th, 2011 at 8:43 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @Lori: I think you hit the nail on the head, actually. We can become more in-touch or connected to our bodies through simple self-care! Of course your sex drive is up, you’re enjoying your body rather than hating or ignoring it! I love that! And I completely agree. My husband has been stroking and touching my arms more since I began this mini-journey. Thank you for sharing your story here! <3

  3. On September 5th, 2011 at 8:09 am jery Says:

    My friend’s grandmother used to pick at her arms. She would stare off and just pick at em. It was kinda creepy.
    My issue is my summertime dark mocha skin pigment, but I’ve already gone into that. I do have to admit that I too want to moisturize more, so I will try to remember to text you and in doing so remind myself. hahahaha like a two-fer!!

  4. On September 5th, 2011 at 8:44 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @Jery: Ha-ha! I love it! (The texting not the creepy grandmother). What’s funny is that B hasn’t asked me once, but he says he’s noticed a big difference already. So he doesn’t feel the need to remind me yet. Cool!

  5. On September 5th, 2011 at 8:30 am greenbean Says:

    Sunscreen! Anytime you go out, on any exposed skin, V. V. important. I’ve never cared for any sort of beauty routines, but this is one thing I always do before going out during the day and I think it’s a lot more important than any moisturizers.
    I was boggled to find a very noticeable tan line on my stomach where my tops ride up once in a while, and I only go outside during the day a couple of times a week. It’s surprisingly easy to get sunburns nowadays even if you’re not freckled. And it’s bad for the skin in the long term.

  6. On September 5th, 2011 at 8:45 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @greenbean: Oh yes! And I used to be better at applying sunscreen everyday. I’ve somehow lost the urge or something. Part of it for me is finding one that isn’t smelly or greasy, but also knowing what I’ll be doing that day helps. Lately I don’t know one day from the next since my schedule is all over the place at the moment.

  7. On September 6th, 2011 at 1:05 am Kath Says:

    You have good timing, I’ve just been having a big ole rant on a Facebook page for a popular plus-size clothing brand at people saying things like “Don’t you know , fat women shouldn’t go sleeveless!” Or other body hate statements. I’m not hiding my damn arms for anyone ever again! (Well, except my tattoos, but I knew when I got them done I would have to choose my audience for those.)

  8. On September 6th, 2011 at 8:09 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @Kath: The arms thing is so difficult for most to accept. And we are so easily shamed by those who claim to love us when such a thing (arms) aren’t otherwise shameful (ie: in a sexual or other manner). It pisses me off, but I’m not fully self-accepting of my own arms yet. I wore a sun dress the other evening when we had our closest friends over and I really struggled. Even brought out a cardigan “just in case I get cold” even though it’s hot here! No one said anything and my husband was very encouraging, but it’s all in my head. I know it is, yet I still struggle. But I did it, dammit! And I will keep on doing it until I don’t give it a second thought. Perhaps that is the issue then? Repetition until normalization? Hmm…

  9. On September 6th, 2011 at 1:28 am Lori Says:

    @ Not Blue At All: Your very welcome, it’s so nice to be able share with like minded people. BTW I am loving your blog I have a feeling you will be seeing my name a lot around here:-)

  10. On September 6th, 2011 at 8:10 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @Lori: Fantastic! Glad to have you and speak up anytime! =0)

  11. On September 8th, 2011 at 6:37 pm thirtiesgirl Says:

    This stuff works pretty well at getting rid of bumps on arms: http://www.kpelements.com/?src=trada&utm_campaign=1916&utm_term=1730077&utm_medium=google&utm_source=trada&utm_content=3218927637_10595472357

  12. On September 9th, 2011 at 10:11 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @thirtiesgirl: Thank you! I will check it out!

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