We all have someone in our lives that maybe we’ve never mentioned fat liberation/acceptance to or perhaps they didn’t quite understand what that is or didn’t take it seriously..in any case, there may come a time when the Fat Conversation must take place. Or maybe it comes from out of the blue, the unbearable urge to have it! Yeah, that’s where I’m at. Here I am, big ole fat activist and all, when suddenly my mother in law (MIL) flies into town all of a sudden (had 5 days notice?!) and right off the bat is some negative and weighty comment (no pun intended) about fat. *HeadDesk*
That happened last night and I think I was somehow awestruck. I didn’t have a single word to say; it wasn’t directed at me anyway. And I let it sort of hang in the air awhile before even truly pondering it. And now we’ve hung out the entire day together and all I’ve managed to say after many body disparagement from her (about herself, her son, her daughter-in-law and her granddaughter…hmm, somehow no comment about moi?) was one line, “You know it’s Be Body Positive Day?” *NervousLaugh*
Mega-fail! What is wrong with me? Why didn’t/couldn’t I say anything? I get along with my MIL perfectly, like good friends. I’ve already have plenty of alone time to get this out of the way, so to speak, yet somehow I just don’t know how to start the, “you know fat isn’t bad or unhealthy” convo. How DO you start that conversation? She’s been inundated (and thoroughly invested) in the “science” and “wisdom” and all the diet industry has had to offer (or force feed) her entire life! How do you even begin to broach that topic? She knows how bad aspartame is (my husband is near religious on it’s evils and has explain them to her), but she still drinks the shit and says, “I know, I know!”
It kills me most when she says these things about her granddaughter/my neice. Even buying her a beverage and then going on and on about it’s 34 grams of sugar! The horror!!! Yet she has zero problem ordering her white bread and other such “bad” foods. I just don’t get it. But of course, I took the red pill…didn’t I?!
It is so hard. It’s like speaking another language. It’s like having this secret (secret of awesomeness!) that may make you feel like this other person will think you’re a freak for sharing. But shit, man, I don’t wanna keep this goodness to myself, I do want everyone to know about it. I have rarely ever had a difficult time talking about fat, so why is it so hard now?
I think part of the trouble for me is that she will be here for the next two weeks, all day everday. If something goes awry, we’re all kind of stuck together, right?! I don’t wanna offend or cause any trouble/drama, BUT!~!!!
I would love your advice/suggestions. How do I begin the conversation? What can I say to make it simple to understand? I want to share positive body messages with my niece, too. But when MIL remarked that her Wii character had a “big butt!!!” and niece responded, “WHAT?!” in shock and disgust? I feel like a damned alien in my own home! I love her dearly. She is a very good/kind person, would give you the shirt off her back in a blizzard, BUT?!~?!!
Thank you all in advance for your input on this. I cannot tell you how you’ve all impacted me in so many positive ways! If you read and/or comment on this blog, you are amazing and fabulous!!! <3