NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Movin’ & Shakin’

June20

I’m so regretting not taking before and after pictures, but I had no idea getting my car washed would turn into a massive spring (summer?) cleaning project. Actually, this was a big fucking deal, dude! I had a bee in a bonnet, or a wild hair up my ass, whatever, and cleaned and rearranged my entire room! It looks like an actual grown up room now! It no longer looks like my dressers are mid-vomit. Ha-ha! For real, I had broken drawers and clothes stacked nearly to the ceiling. I had shoes everywhere and just stuff, so much stuff! Now? Everything has a place!!! I didn’t even know that was a thing! Ohmigosh! I can walk and dance and move in my room, y’all! This is amazing!

(Pic is from BitStrips, Facebook app…I love it so!)

 I was never actually worried about how my room looked. In fact I really didn’t care. I have had company over and never gave it a second thought. But I also always knew I wanted something better I just never knew where to start or what to do with all the stuff exactly. Who knew where to start was with my car?! I mean, I’d been wanting to get that thing washed for awhile, but after Saturday’s partying it became obvious that my beloved little car needed some serious scrubbing! After that happened I started to move and arrange things in my car and then did some laundry and then and then and then…BAM! It’s like I have a whole new room!

My room now is how it should be. It’s the room I’ve always wanted. It took all day Tuesday and part of Wednesday but it’s beautiful! I keep looking around and cannot believe my eyes! Growing up in the messiest house was always a source of shame, but it was always something I had no control over. No one ever taught me how to keep a house or even to really care for myself, when it gets right down to it. So finally having a clean and organized room AND CLOSET is like the proudest moment, man. All of my stuff is neatly stacked in boxes in the closet and all of my shoes are on the shoe rack I haven’t seen since I moved in. It’s a work of art!

Then tonight when my roommate came home she’d gotten some stuff to spruce up our living room. Now we’re talking about painting and stuff…so awesome! Is anyone else getting this urge to get things moving? I so rarely want to do this stuff, or should I say, the motivation. Ha-ha! While my original motivation wasn’t entirely pure, it certainly ended up that way. It is kind of amazing how emotionally healing this whole thing was. I mean, I feel like serving tea and crumpets on my bed now!

Unfortunately, last night ended on a sour note and left me full of self doubt and questioning. On top of the unexplained disappointment, my insomnia has decided to stop by for a spell and is truly fucking things up. My sleep schedule is way out of whack and just falling asleep has become agonizing. Why is it when we don’t know something that our minds go directly to the worst shit ever?! Not cool! I went from feeling on top of the world (and looking smashing, lemme tell ya!) to feeling like the saddest sack of all. Just wish I knew what happened. Hate feeling like I did something or am not enough…I’m more than enough! I’m awesome!

Well, at least I have this kick ass room. Only a fool wouldn’t consider himself lucky to be invited in. 😉  Now to recruit some tall people to hang some artwork I’ve been saving. Ha! I do have a nifty little craft station now and have given my sad old antenna ball a new life covered in red and black glitter! Oh yeah! Pimpin’ my ride DIY style! It is impressive how much I can get done when my obsessive nature taps into that sweet vein of compulsion. Whew! Even gave myself a pedicure!

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