I'm Not Blue at All

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

The Big Fat Summer Challenge: DONE!!!

July28

Here were the challenges:

  • Wear shorts (NO LEGGINGS, NO TIGHTS!)
  • Wear something without sleeves
  • Wear something STRAPLESS
  • Rock a bathing suit
  • Wear a bodycon dress/outfit
  • Go SPANX/shaper free (might be harder for some of us..ahem…ME)
  • Rock a maxi dress or something similar
  • Wear something structure-less
  • Wear a short skirt/dress
  • YOUR CHOICE: Something you normally wouldn’t wear/do – BE BRAVE!

Here’s my pics: Death Fattie Ahoy! (I’m 5’4″, 32 years old

#1 Shorts: WOW! I did this? Um, okay. I think they don’t show as well in this pic, but when I walk they were above my knees. Scarily so! I paired them with this top because it’s cute, comfy but also strappy! Again, mega-scary, but also so glad I did it! I felt 14 again! Ha-ha!
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#2 Sleeveless: As featured in this post: http://www.notblueatall.com/archives/fun-fatshion-friday/Very empowering! I’m so glad I went out and about. I felt all classy with my pearls. I should really wear them more often.

#3 Strapless: from this post: http://www.notblueatall.com/archives/big-moves-bay-areas-go-big-or-go-home-7-10-2010/ What an incredible night that was. I’ll never think of dance the same way again! Thanks to my two fabulous BFFs for supporting me, taking the picture and attending such an incredible event. Y’all rock my socks to no end!
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#4 Bathing Suit: This is my oh-so-comfy Junonia suit from last year. Got rid of my old too-much-cleavage-I’ll-never-be-able-to-swim ones. This one keeps my ladies zipped in, for your safety! And finally at a length I can deal with. It’s such a soft and fun, ribbed, fabric. Love it! But this was a hard shot to take, too! I had planned a pool visit, but it was freezing out! Yeah, in California, I know! So I grabbed some props and did what I could.
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#5 Bodycon dress/outfit: THIS DRESS! You guys? You have no idea. When I saw it at Ross weeks ago I thought A.) it will never fit me (tag says 3X). B.) it’s so very sort! C.) it’s so clingy in a not-very-obvious but still very conscious way. BUT? I love this dress!!! I feel awesome in it and can’t wait for an event to make en entrance with it to go to.
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#6 Go Spanx/Shaper free:
I never wear ‘em! So what you see is all me.
#7 Maxi Dress: This was that Ellos maxi dress that was sold out over and over again last year. It’s this thick jersy cotton…so comfy & I love it, but it is sometimes too hot for such heavy fabric. But again, the comfort! Woo! (And bonus, back of my pug’s head! Ha!)
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#8 Structureless: Not sure if this qualifies, but it’s all I had. Very slouchy top from Target last year and a “skirt” also from target that can be worth thusly or as a tube top dress thingy. I’ve worn it both ways, but this is the comfy-est non-skirt ever! And watch out: Fatty wearing a belt! Run Will Robinson…RUN!
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#9 Short Skirt or Dress: from this post: http://www.notblueatall.com/archives/bfsc-an-evening-at-the-theatre/ I had no idea I still harbored so much shame about my legs. WOW! I learned a lot about myself that night.

#10 My choice, Be Brave: My Legs! YIKES! In the shortest thing I own at that! WOW! I actually like this pic even though you see my legs!!!

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This whole challenge has me feeling so strong and brave and…just..GOOD!

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And my ankle tattoo since some seemed interested. It was 8 hours of horrible pain, but totally worth it! While it made me reconsider ever getting another, I am already plotting & planning! =0)

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Thanks for following along with me on this adventure. It truly was a challenge and taught me things about myself I never would have imagined. And all thanks to this gal & her lovely blog: http://www.tabayag.com/

Did you do the Big Fat Summer Challenge? Send me a link, I wanna see!!!

Fluff-Thoughts-Fun-More?!

July23

Some fluff, thoughts and even some neat-o stuff I thought would be of use:

I really liked this article about conversational phrases. Go beyond the usual chit-chat!

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=5338&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=68352

While I cannot stand the word they use in this article “Obesogens” there are some useful facts about chemicals in food:
(Trigger warning: mentions weight loss, dieting and other related talk)

http://shine.yahoo.com/event/loveyourbody/why-you-cant-lose-those-last-10-pounds-1964849/

12 things retailers do to get us to spend more, more and more:

http://shine.yahoo.com/event/financiallyfit/12-spending-schemes-we-fall-for-2029497/

9 myths & facts about lightening!

http://green.yahoo.com/blog/the_conscious_consumer/143/nine-myths-and-facts-about-lightning.html

Brain teasers and optical illusions:

http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/brain-teasers/brain-teasers-and-optical-illusions/1400154

2011 Betty White calendar to benefit Morris Animal Foundation: I LOVE IT

http://www.stylelist.com/2010/07/08/betty-white-calendar-2011/

Adipositivity = Fabulous!

http://adipositivity.phototage.com/archives/9478_1745602162/348037

This one makes me completely unable to stop smiling:

http://adipositivity.phototage.com/archives/9478_1745602162/347764

This blog makes me daydream:

http://ohjoy.blogs.com/

This blog makes me giddy for a new project:

http://ikeahacker.blogspot.com/

Oh the possibilities!!!

This is terrible, awesome, funny and creepy:

What are your plans for this weekend? Are you happy it’s Friday? I have to work tomorrow, but still plan on enjoying my Friday this evening. Woot for the weekend!  =0)

“Pinhole” lens                        “Fish-eye” lens

“Drawing” lens

The babies! Hover-cat & Melty-pup!

If you feel like it…

July22

Ask me anything at all:

http://www.formspring.me/notblueatall

Socially Fat

July15

I was thinking about social networking on my way into work this morning. Okay, I think about a lot of things in the car, I have a 45 minute commute after all. And well, I listen to things like KPFA & today, the Fatcast: Two Whole Cakes!  On said Fatcast, they were talking about gender in relation to fat. And while my thoughts were wandering at a stop light I found myself thinking about fats and how we can use social networking to our fatvantage (totally made that up but I like it!). I only use social networking sites (like facebook, twitter, myspace, linkedin, etc) for staying in touch or up to date with friends. Mostly people I know in my social circle, but also people I have met through blogs or livejournal. I enjoy getting updates on their lives or things they’re into or what have you. But this morning I started thinking about dating.

Okay, so I’ve been married 6 years and my husband and I have been together for over 12 years…so it’s been awhile since I’ve dated (if you can even call it that). Back then it was just AOL and chat rooms. Ha-ha! Oh man, so much time chatting with all sorts of people. I found myself in an San Francisco based one even though that wasn’t where I lived. Made some friends, but mostly just found drama. Today there’s a ton of dating specific sites, not to mention the usual ones like I mentioned above. Back then I would simply identify as full figured. Funny, I would never say this now. I prefer FAT! I remember a specific instance that turned out alright after all was said and done, but the guy in question when answering his door for our “date” (he was going to make me dinner, oh yeah!), “Um, you’re more full figured than I thought.” and I responded unflinchingly, “Yeah, you’re a lot skinner and shorter than I thought.” but we got along so well over the phone it seemed silly to let this get in the way. We eventually became friends, but then life happened and we lost touch.

It makes me wonder about fats in the dating scene today. Especially online? I mean, your employer can look you up for free so it’s best to keep these things low-key, right? When MySpace was at the height of it’s popularity it seemed to be full of nothing but wannabe porn stars mugging for (or showing other things very close to) the camera. Now it seems like only comedians and aspiring musicians use it. I don’t see much of that sort of thing on Facebook, I wonder why. Or maybe it’s there and just not in my circle of friends. At any rate I was thinking on this and wondering how one presents themselves in the dating environments of the interwebz. I think if for whatever reason I found myself “out there” again (like what, in the cold & rain? Ha-ha!) I’d be much more willing to identify as fat and think it would be a great jerk filter simply by using that word.

Certainly there are fat specific communities and events. I’ve seen many a BBW night at local clubs/bars, meet up groups and such…I’ve never been to one, being that I am married, but have wondered what that’s like. Is it a bunch of sleezeballs on the prowl for their next fat-lay? Because it does seem to be an accepted (although mega-wrong) concept of a fat woman being easy. I don’t think I ever hat to beat them off with a stick (as my uncles all warned when I was a little girl), but I was hardly in want of a lover, for sure. I just can’t wrap my head around how technology has taken over that part of our social interactions.

I have always been one for more spontaneous human interactions, preferably in a public place. Do blind dates still happen? Do successful relationships ever start at a bar? I met my husband by hiring him for x-mas help at a music store, so that was easy. He came to me. Ha! Prior to that though I would usually meet guys at music shows or goth clubs or through friends or at parties, just whenever wherever, ya know? Ugh!

I know it’s rough on the old self-esteem no matter how you find dates, but with the amount of control you have over your profiles and images online, is it easier? Are people photo shopping and glamor shooting themselves into an unrecognizable fantasy? I guess it’s pretty dang random of me to even care, but hey I just think about stuff!

I would love LOVE to hear from anyone who has some first hand experience on the subject. Speak up! I wanna talk!
Thanks for reading as always, darlings.

=0)

“…Never Wanted Me to Die”

June7

This article has me fully upset:

http://www.thatsfit.com/2010/05/31/how-newly-single-shelley-slimmed-down/?icid=main|main|dl6|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thatsfit.com%2F2010%2F05%2F31%2Fhow-newly-single-shelley-slimmed-down%2F

Basically, this woman lost 60lbs after her divorce. There’s a before & after pic, no biggie. What struck me was this bit:

Breaking Point: In September of 2009, I realized that I was ready to get out and date again, but I knew I had to make some big changes before I could re-enter the dating pool. My son also made the comment to me that struck a chord: He told me that he never wanted me to die. That was it — I knew I had to do something.

Okay, seriously? You’re going to die! We all are! How nuts is this? If you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, I would imagine that you grasp the fact that I am fat and am a part of the ever so popular fat acceptance movement and believe in HAES (Heath At Every Size). To read this lady’s story and that specific quote just made me angry. I mean, no kid wants their parents to die. No one wants to die (generally speaking). Yet somehow that is what pushed her towards her weight loss goals? Ugh!

I’m disappointed in this story. She doesn’t mention health. She mentions all of the things that create unhealthful habits: calorie counting, food journals and another cliche: shopping! WTF?! Look, if she’s happy, great. I get it! We all wanna be happy, but sometimes, some of us, we’re happy the way we are! Anyone can be, but when the world tells you that you don’t fit in or look a certain way, well, if you buy into that I can understand how burdensome that can feel. Yet I managed to break free of that vicious cycle. A lot of fats have. Health should have been her focus, dammit and while I know it’s her perogotive to do what she wants (I fully support the choice), I just wish her weight loss wasn’t the focus of the story.

I truly wanted to read a story about a woman who got through a divorce, found herself worth and decided to simply live better. You don’t have to get all obsessive about food and weight loss and all of that. You can enjoy your life and have fun doing it all and maybe you’ll lose weight, too. If your body wants it, it will happen. But seriously?

Ugh! Okay, I have nothing more to say on this…die

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