NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Masturbating While Fat: The Reach!

December22

I want to thank the readers of this blog for the endless support and inspiration! It was a reader comment on a masturbation related post that lead to this one. Please comment with your thoughts, tricks, and tips! This post is centered around vagina having humans who may have trouble reaching said vagina for pleasurable penetration/stimulation. If this is a topic you’d rather not read about, or would prefer to not know my own preferences and experiences on the subject, I hope you will return another day or dig into the archives for some fat-positive fun!

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To begin with, I just want to say that there is nothing wrong or shameful with self-stimulation and masturbation, period. I think everyone should be getting off in whatever comfortable and safe way they see fit, regardless of size, ability, gender, age, race, etc. We all deserve pleasure and it has been proven time and again in scientific and medical journals that masturbation is a healthy practice! It’s heart healthy and stress relieving, we all need more of that!

***Please do not masturbate in public or in front of others without their prior and expressed consent. Thanks!!!***

I have what myself and my BFF call a “B-Belly” because it sort of looks like the letter B in profile, or a double belly if you will.  While I have taught myself to love what my body has to offer, it can occasionally present issues in the boudoir and without. I also have a knee that won’t bend very far, so some things I simply cannot do without accommodation. There are other things, like using a menstrual cup, that I can do that other friends simply cannot. This is because of reach. It could be for a variety of reasons, but for me, it’s my boobs and belly often get in my way or prevent my reaching. (Seriously, restroom sinks/counters are the bane of my existence.)

I hope you can try these or any self-pleasure experience in a relaxed state and take your time, too! Try not to have any expectations other than fun and exploration. Getting to know yourself in your own way, in your own time, is so important and exciting, but also the first step, I believe, in being an even greater lover for others. We all just wanna have fun, but when you know what you want you can make your lover feel more confident in pleasuring you, too! It also takes some of the pressure off when you’re first getting acquainted with someone new, or yourself for the first time. Set the mood, take some time, breathe deep into the glory of all that is you and your fabulous body and how amazing it can feel!

I realized that I had only mentioned the subject of reach, previously, and I have a couple of options that may work for you, but please see this as a starting point and not the end-all of what may work best for you. Positions for digital or toy penetration may prove difficult depending on your personal flexibility and mobility levels, but I have found that laying on my back, with a pillow or two under my butt/hips, and my legs straight up the wall in a v-shape, provided more access/reach. It sort of redistributed my belly/boobs in such a way that allowed me to reach, and because this of just who I am I guess, I quite enjoy the scenery of my topography, too!

Another old favorite for me is a sort of squat position with my back against the wall or even just against the side of my bed with my feet on the floor (this is how I first discovered that I squirt/ejaculate, so have fun and don’t be alarmed if things get wet – I panicked). The edge of my bathtub (when I had one) also worked great for getting a wide enough spread for better reach, though I prefer my massaging showerhead than penetration in that position, I did occasionally throw in my “Lucid Dreams” when the mood demanded it (I friggin’ love that toy – mine is old enough that the vibration died but the shape of it hits my g-spot perfectly)!

My immediate thought for reach for vaginal penetration was to suggest a dildo with a suction cup base. I have personally tried this, though I was a bit too excited by the idea, and ordered a size far too large for my anatomy. I have had friends who have used this style in the shower (suctioned to the wall for a bent over position), the tub ledge -if you have one- for a seated option, and even suctioning it to the toilet seat lid (sounds strange but they really liked the height of their toilet). This seemed like a cheaper option for me at the time, but as I quickly regretted my size choice, I also struggled to get the base to stay stuck on my bathroom tile. I will always recommend reading reviews online, but if you have an awesome store in your area like we have Good Vibrations here, where it is a friendly, inviting and educational environment, I hope you will ask your local experts, too!

I happen to be friends with a couple of sex education professionals and my BFF who has taught fat specific sex workshops, so I hit them up for ideas, too! They suggested some toys you may be interested in checking out and I can vouch at least for the womanizer pro 40, though pricey (it was a 40th B-day gift from my BFF), and only for clitoral stimulation, once I got used to it, it became quickly my preferred toy (even over my magic wand!). If you already have a magic wand (or a knockoff) you might check out an attachment for g-spot stimulation, mine came with two attachments, one straight and one curved. I remember enjoying the hell out of those and the wand provided more than ample reach. I have always wanted a glass dildo, but have never tried one. I’ve heard that the option to heat or chill the glass is a nice thing to play with. Please do look into different materials and how best to care for them. Regardless of your own personal hygiene, different toys require different care and cleaning solutions, so be aware before buying and never share an unclean toy.

Please also check out the fat-specific sex shopping guide here, as provided by my friend Andy: https://www.goodvibes.com/s/sex-toys/c/gv206/shopping-guides/shopping-guides/fat-positive-shopping-guide You can find more content/info and fun on Twitter and Instagram @GoodVibesToys and @EducatorAndy

I hope you find what works best for you! And either comment here or let me know what you think: notblueatall@notblueatall.com

Rad Fatty Love to ALL,
<3
S

P.S. Check out and use the hashtag: #FatAndFree on Insta & FB!

Donate to this blog here: https://www.paypal.me/notblueatall

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I also have an Instagram I’ve finally started to actually use: https://instagram.com/notblueatall/

And as always, please feel free to drop me a line in comments here or write me an email, I love hearing from readers. (Tell me your troubles, I don’t judge.): notblueatall@notblueatall.com

Curvy Girl Lingerie Fashion Show 2017

October20

*Waves* I’m back! I had no internet at home yesterday, so couldn’t post anything, but it’s back and so am I and hey let’s do this! Woo!

(I was in no way paid, reimbursed, or asked to write this post in any way shape or form! The lingerie I wore in the show I paid for myself, with the discount that Chrystal gave to all those modeling in the fashion show.)

Curvy Girl Lingerie has been a silicon valley gem for some time. I have been fortunate enough to be invited as a guest by my dance partner and dear friend Tigress for the last couple of years and have enjoyed myself as I got to watch the show from the audience. This year was the first time I was in the actual show. It was kind of funny how that happened. Tigress and Saucye had at first talked me into that modeling audition this past spring (Oh, I guess I should post about that, too? OKay, will do!) and I couldn’t believe it when I got a callback for it. It was an interesting experience, but when all was said and done and Saucye’s gorgeous face lit up and said, “So are you hooked for life?!” I don’t think she expected my response. “Fuck no! This isn’t for me.” Ha-ha!

I knew they’d be in the Curvy Girl show because they have been for the last few years (3-4, not sure). Tigress asked if I would and I hemmed and hawed. I was kind of avoiding it, to be honest. Once the application date passed I thought I was in the clear! Nope. Chrystal, the owner, reached out to me directly and asked me to be in the show. How could I say no? I didn’t. I said yes and then tried to choose something to wear but honestly I’d never bought lingerie before and it suddenly all felt so surreal and not applicable to me and my fat life. There was a models only group page on facebook and that helped a bit to see what others were wearing and how their individual looks were coming together. We were encouraged to be creative and have fun showing off our personalities.

I was clueless and while I did ask for help, I suck at it and didn’t really say what I needed, and I’m just always convinced that I’m an annoying bastard who should leave people the heck alone. Introverts high-five! Ha-ha! In the end Chrystal suggested something different than I originally picked out due to my particular body dimensions and I was finally relieved. Chrystal had a store closing party on her last day of business in her brick and mortar store (the online store will be her main focus and shuttering the shop in San Jose was due to health concerns – This is the exact reason I sold my cafe, owning a small business is incredibly taxing on one person). I went to buy my lingerie for the show but also to try it on first to be sure of sizing.

I went with the Stephenie in a 3x/4x and it fit fantastic, but I will say that the straps were a little tricky to get right at first. Once a fellow model leant me a hand (I think there were 4-5 of us in the exact same item) and cinched my straps all the way to their tightest setting, I was good to go! I had originally wanted the same item in this sort of purply-wine color, but they’d run out of my size and I was kind of digging the vibe of this peach number with black trim. I thought it was a girl-next-door with a naughty side sort of a thing! That was where my look was heading and I was stoked and went to the fabric store and bought some fun remnants to play with. Thought I’d make myself a little hat or fascinator, but I just couldn’t get it together.

The night before the show I sat on my little loveseat and watched a marathon of Good Times (70’s sitcom about a poor working class black family living in Chicago’s projects, my favorite of all time for sure). What can I say? Inspiration took over! That peachy color? Very 70’s! The fashion in the show always dazzled me, even as a kid, but this was all about the higher cut babydoll style tops and dresses back then and that was sort of how my lingerie was cut and them BAM it hit me: A glamorous wrap! I took this peach chiffon remnant and laid it across my lap and started to just think really hard about how this could work. I soon realized I didn’t have enough fabric, but then I tried something different and pinned each side horizontally and tried it on and yep yep it all worked out. I made a fancy (not really at all) shrug! I just watched my fave show and hand sewed the seams and finally the marabou-like trim for the cuffs. Perfect!

Before the show everyone was getting ready, but when I put on that shrug, well, I was worried at first that it wouldn’t look right. All the other models seemed to have more put together looks. So I popped on a spooky new batwing-bow headband and my shrug and just worked it! And I got so many compliments on my handmade shrug! I was so proud, if not a little embarrassed at how much so. Ha-ha! But it looked great and sort of looked more me anyway. I always gotta have a little retro in my look! I love classic with a twist, ya know? So I finished my makeup and lined up with everyone and got ready to walk the runway.

I’ll say right here and now that I think I’m one of the most awkward human beings ever, but Tigress has twice now insisted that even if that’s how I feel, that is not at all what comes across to others in my interactions. I’ll accept this. That said, I was the most awkward fucking model on the damned runway! Ha-ha! It was fine, I didn’t fall or have any wardrobe malfunctions, but I didn’t hear them call my name at first so that was a bit funny. In the end I was on the runway a total of like 30 seconds, so who even cares?! I haven’t seen any of the professional pictures yet, but I’ll add the ones I have that Tigress took of me and include some from the site as well so you can see the same item on different bodies.

The event itself is super fun, very empowering, positive, and just a great time! It’s attended by all women and there are always great vendors selling awesome body positive things and stuff. I actually didn’t get to check out the vendors tables until after the show, but I was also between paychecks (and now unemployed – who knew?!), so I really barely browsed. There was a latex-wear table that I found very intriguing and the vendor was super gorgeous and sweet to me, but I was not in the right headspace for such a purchase as I had a billion questions but little time. I had intended to have a drink before the show, even brought some moscato to share, but time and nerves did not allow. Tigress and I had a glass after the show before we went to Ross and Smashburger! Ha!

All in all I am glad that I did it! Who else can say they modeled lingerie just a few weeks away from turning 40?! Let alone at 325 lbs?! That’s right! Breakin’ all the “rules” and barriers over here! Ha-ha! That is what that show is, though. It is really the customers and community that was built by and around Curvy Girl! Chrystal built it from the ground up, so to speak, from a pleasure party business to a full on community of awesome people! And that is what it felt like, it seemed that everyone knew each other or were becoming fast friends. I was abnormally shy feeling that day and really just stuck to myself when not getting ready with Tigress and Saucye. Oh! Speaking of…Tigress and Saucye also gave keynote speeches at the start of the show! So fantastic! I think if you go to Curvy Girl’s facebook page you can still watch the original livestream. Always worth paying attention when either of these incredible fat activists are speaking, lemme tell ya!

Do yourself a favor, seriously, and get yourself something you feel fabulous in! Check out the shop online and if you have questions about sizing, or anything, ASK!!! Chrystal steered me away from ill fitting things and into something that works for my body and my comfort level! Those are reasons alone why it took until 2017 for me to buy myself lingerie! I even busted out my Size Queen booty shorts to wear underneath my babydoll! Fun! I hope you can support this really great, fat accepting business. A great place to shop for toys and lubes and all of your pleasure-related needs, it’s also fantastic for gifts!!! You might even have some time left to get yourself a sexy lil’ something for your halloween celebrations! Woo! And onto the pics!!!

  

 

 

I am ceaselessly inspired by Tigress as well as local fat community, and am so grateful to have access to it where I live. I hope that you’ll also check out her blog here: iofthetigress and here for GREAT pics on her Instagram!

Check out Saucye West’s Instagram for all things #FatAndFree, not to mention fucking FABULOUS!!!

Rad Fatty Love to ALL,
<3
S

If you feel so inclined (Ranges from $2 – $150):
My 40th Birthday Wish List: http://a.co/0a2nLYO
Cash & Gift cards also appreciated…I just lost my job! 😛

P.S. Check out and use the hashtag: #FatAndFree on Insta & FB!

My blog’s Facebook page for things I share that aren’t on this blog (and updated daily): http://on.fb.me/1A18fAS 
Or get the same “shared” content on twitter: @NotBlueAtAll
I also have an Instagram, I rarely use it but would like to more…encourage me to?:
https://instagram.com/notblueatall/

And as always, please feel free to drop me a line in comments here or write me an email, I love hearing from readers. (Tell me your troubles, I don’t judge.): notblueatall@notblueatall.com

If you would like to support this blog (the hosting bill is $150 and coming up next month!), and it’s archives, via paypal, you may do so here: paypal.me/notblueatall and you will have my undying gratitude, too!

GlassesUSA.com A Review

December8

As a long time wearer of prescription glasses, I know all too well the pains, aesthetic and financial, of finding new eyeglasses. When I went into business for myself and became my own boss, that also meant not having things like big corporate benefits and insurance. Bummer! BUT I was soon introduced to a whole new way to buy glasses…ONLINE!

“What?! How the heck does that even work?! I’m no optician!”
I know, I know! And believe me, I had my doubts. Through many years of trial and error, I have finally found what works best and how to avoid the common pitfalls of online glasses shopping! I’ve tried the bargain buys and designer deals and find that I’m really neither and yet both at the same time. Ha-ha!
My most recent dip in the waters of online spectacle buying has left me quite satisfied. My first choice ended up not working out for me, but I was pleased with the level of service, turn around of my return and insistence on my satisfaction that GlassesUSA provided me. When I received my new pair of glasses I was hopeful, but as always with buying stuff online, a bit apprehensive. No one likes being disappointed.
I chose them because I was intrigued by the flexibility factor but also a lightweight and durable frame?! Seemed too good to be true! I was wrong…they rock!

I ended up with the purple and baby blue pair from the Ultem Collection. The purple was a touch darker than I expected, but after wearing them to work…They are perfect! In fact, they are so light weight that I kept checking to make sure they were still on my face! And they are super bendy! I love showing people, too, “Hey, check out my new glasses!” *BendsInAllDirections* and always they respond, “Whoa! Cool!” I love that!

 

Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 3.31.36 PM Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 3.31.43 PM Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 3.31.55 PM

 

I love innovation and creative solutions to everyday problems, it’s what I do everyday in my own life and at work. So when I see a product or company that feels the same I typically jump right on it. Only this time? They found me first! Ha-ha! In the interest of full disclosure, I was gifted a pair of glasses by GlassesUSA in order to provide a true and honest review. I was impressed with their commitment to customer satisfaction! As a former corporate trainer in customer service (a job I miss and would love to do again), I appreciated this beyond words!
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When my first pair didn’t work out, they made sure my return was easy and seamless (but you will need access to a printer for the prepaid return shipping label, this was my only obstacle). When I chose my new frames, they emailed me to confirm that my prescription had not changed to ensure no further issues. No other glasses website I have encountered has ever done that. I have tried local companies, oversees ones and everything in between. I can honestly say that I am most satisfied with my newest experience and pair of glasses I got from GlassesUSA. Their selection was impressive, but their prices were even more so!
They offer…
  • 110% lowest price guarantee and a 100% satisfaction guarantee
  • A generous refer-a-friend program (You can get $30 for each first purchase a referred friend makes – and use the $30 towards your next pair of glasses)
  • A Facebook page and Twitter feed with exclusive discounts for fans
Their most current discount codes can be found here Sales & Coupons
And readers of this blog can take 10% off any order. With code: Blog10
From GlassesUSA:
“Seeing properly shouldn’t be a luxury – it should be a necessity. We do our best to help our customers and we take their vision needs very seriously by providing our customers with top quality lenses in the most fashionable frames available!”
I believe my complete prescription glasses (this included lenses and coatings) was around $70 total. Not bad! In fact, hella good! I remember paying $300+ at the eye doctor’s office. No more!!!
Here’s my tips for buying glasses online:
  1. Get your eyes examined! Not being snarky! Ha-ha! But you’ll need a current prescription in order to buy prescription glasses online. Sorry, that’s just how this works. I do recommend checking out your local JC Penny or Sears for exams or even Site for Sore Eyes, as they typically run promotions for exams at $50+/- which is a great deal!
  2. Get that prescription on paper! Many opticians will refuse, knowing you can just buy online and leave them and their huge mark ups in the dust. I usually say that I’m traveling abroad and want to make sure I have my prescription handy “just in case!” I once had one absolutely refuse and insisted that they would only Fax it (what is this? the 90’s?!) to another optician or optometrist. Psshht! I don’t know the legality of such a thing, as it is MY info/prescription, but be aware of the possibility. *Also, ask them to take and write down your PD or Pupil Distance measurement as this is very difficult to do on your own and you will absolutely need this in order to buy online.
  3. Measure your favorite and most comfortable pair of frames in Millimeters:
  • Measure your frames across the front, this is called Frame Width
  • Measure the height and width of one of the lenses Lens height/width
  • Measure the arm that goes over your ear (from frame to end of arm), this is called Temple Arm Length
  • Measure the part that goes over the bridge of your nose

Now you’re ready to start shopping! Please keep in mind that not all shaped frames will work for all shaped faces. You might look up how to choose the right shape frames for your face on google, I know I have and now stick with rectangular frames for my roundish face. I would also suggest using a picture of yourself without glasses on, so you can upload it and virtually try on frames online (different sites have different names for this feature)! Also? Have fun with colors! I used to only go for frameless or really skinny/barely there frames and now I go for the complete opposite and love it! Bold! Colorful! Fun! Hey?! That’s me!!! 😉

GlassesUSA also offers a NEW share-able Virtual Mirror feature!
I have not yet tried this feature but it sounds super cool! Let me know what you think when you try it!

Randomness is Random

May20

I would love to see a blog called “Perfectly Portly”…someone do this! 😉

Dance rehearsal was hard and good and a bit emotional. Our progress is fantastic when only a week ago we had just half a song choreographed. I  got that runner’s high thing again, it’s kind of awesome. I keep getting asked if I’m excited or nervous and I am, but it still somehow doesn’t feel real yet. Part of me also just wants it over with. Ha-ha!

If you’re local to San Francisco/Oakland area and are interested in seeing me perform for the first time in 17 years, or just want to see a fantastic body positive dance show (OMZ! It’s the best!) there are TWO chances: Saturday, May 25th at 8pm or Sunday, May 26th at 2 pm. Get your tickets in advance to save some time and money: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/378829

I paid for my NoLose registration…I cannot wait to go! Hoping and wishing and visualizing awesome job so that I can pay my credit card off and my hotel room. I may have to drive, but I’ve been itching for a road trip anyway. It’s in Portland, Oregon this year. PDX is like my favorite place not in California, so WOO!!!

Did y’all see that ReDress is back?!?! This is where I’ve gotten all of my Teggings!

A pic of me & Raven from the Fatty Affair Family Picnic a few weeks ago:

Gawd we are so aforable!!! Ha-ha! Both wearing Eshakti (current) and I’m not in love with vintage cocktail hats from the 50’s because of this little white one I’m wearing. Do you have any of these? Hit me up!!! I am dying for a black one! 🙂

Today is my last day at my current job. I have some interviews this week and I am feeling good and hopeful. I had a great weekend with wonderful people who made me feel special and cared for and I am so grateful to have them in my life. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I’m excited about it once again.

Rad Fatty Love to you ALL!

<3
S

Fatty Affair: FATshion!

February3

The clothing swap part of Fatty Affair seemed to be the most popular portion for sure. And while I only snagged a couple of tops towards the end of the main part of the swap, I’ve already worn one and Love it! What was truly fun for me was getting to see what people picked up, tried on and strutted around in! Many were quite pleased to just change on the spot and wear their new garb the rest of the day. That is so cool!

We also had a catwalk/fatshion show where people were asked to get their strut on if they were feeling good in what they were wearing, even if it wasn’t from the swap (the song of choice of course being “Super Model” by RuPaul). At first we had sign up sheets, but only one person signed up. So I said fuck it and started just recruiting people! Ha-ha! This did seem to work as soon there was a line on either side of the stage area. I didn’t realize that Jery would be the first or that he would even be participating, other than being the emcee, but gurl! He knew how to kick it off:

I went next and decided to twirl before bustin’ out my swagger down the catwalk:
Nicole of AWellRoundedVenture.com was, as always, dressed to impress!
Raven was such a good sport since she originally had no intention of participating:
Tigress & Amanda teamed up for an adorable twirl and strut combo!
But I have to say it, nobody embodied the spirit of the day or the swap quite like my friend Lauren!
This is her catwalk outfit (she had just snagged it in the swap):
This is what she showed up to Fatty Affair wearing (posing with her own artwork):
And this is what she ended up wearing the rest of the night after the fatshion show
(posing here with Milo and her companion looking ever so fabulous!):
It was a total blast! We all clapped along to the song and for each model. It felt so good and so empowering!
To live your entire life being told you could never do something because you’re fat? Yeah, fuck all of that!
We can do anything we damn well please! Together, as a community, we can move mountains and make dreams come true! I know this because it is my own experience. To see people really come into their own and become the person they always wanted to be. To shed the bullshit and the guilt and let go of toxic relationships and just live each day for you. To try things and step outside your comfort zone and experience the dazzling pleasures life has to offer if only we did that more! This is what Fatty Affair and the Fat community mean to me and have done for me.
I urge you, if you have even a tiny desire to attend something like this, do it yourself! Plan it! Team up! Coordinate! It’s so fucking worth it and you won’t regret it! Hit me up for tips. I mean, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, but I did it! Ha-ha! You don’t have to live somewhere specific or know “all the right people” because that is not at all what this is about. This was only ever about community for me. It was only ever about exchanging the love! And belly bumps! Ha!
<3
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