NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

TMI Tuesday!!!

June25

Today’s post is a review of a personal massager/sex toy. If you know me or would rather not know about my preferences or thoughts on this topic, please come back tomorrow for more of my usual fat talk and thoughts. Thanks! 😉

The following review has in no way shape or form been sponsored by anyone, nor have I been compensated in anyway. This is my own honest review of a personal purchase. 

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Oh dear readers! You always know what I need. Often it’s love and support, advice or solidarity, but when it came down to sexy stuff? You did real GOOD!!! I’d heard from many of you publicly and privately (you can always hit me up at notblueatall@notblueatall.com) that the Hitachi Magic Wand is nothing short of amazeballs. But you also frightened me with tales of it’s strength and intensity “so powerful it can give you an orgasm through a snowsuit….from across the street!” Yikes! But I’m here to share my thoughts on this hot topic! Ha-ha!

So, okay, y’all know I’m broke as fuck, but I did this user study thing at eBay and got a $50 visa gift card. I thought it was the perfect time to give the Hitachi Magic Wand a shot! And so…I did! I ordered it from Amazon and found one with two attachments for a great price. When it arrived I was a bit nervous about trying it. At first I just plugged it in and held it in my hand and then thought, “Hell no!” It was big and powerful and noisy! I put it away and didn’t touch it for a week.

Then I ran out of batteries for my go-to toy and thought, “Fuck it! Let’s do this thang!” and gave the Hitachi a go. WOW! It was too powerful for me that first time. It made me cum so fast I barely noticed. Which, let’s face it, kind of sucked. I just didn’t know what to make of it. Again, I left it alone for awhile. A few days later I thought to myself, “This is supposed to be the end all be all and I need to figure this shit out!” So I put on my favorite porn (“Libidinous Games” if you’re curious…it’s pretty tame and hilariously dubbed, but feel free to share your faves too) and took my time.

Holy Shitballs, Batman! I came so hard I thought I’d have a heart attack or pass out or something! This thing has two settings: “Low” (we’ll call it the clit pounder) and “High” (aka: are you insane?!?!). I can only handle the “Low” setting thus far. I’ve toyed with the “High” but only for like a second because I’d actually like to have a pussy left intact when I’m done masturbating! Ha-ha!

I have used the attachments and I have to say that they aren’t really that great. They make the whole thing noisier (no thank you) and are a pain to remove. I personally enjoyed the curved g-spot one a lot, but the straight one was of no interest to me (tried it, meh). What works best for me is using the curved attachment thingy to, um, penetrate myself vigorously (Ha-ha) and then remove it and focus on clit stimulation. Again, removal is no fun. I suppose you could leave it on but it will muffle the vibrations while simultaneously making the thing super loud. I don’t get it. I know there are other attachments, but until I have a disposable income (what is that again? Ha-ha!) I won’t have a chance to try ’em (let me know what you think of ones you’ve tried in comments, please).

The bottom line for me is that this thing is awesome! It plugs in so no more batteries!!! This has to be the best part. No waning battery life, no expense or trips to the store. It keeps on truckin’! I have sort of gotten used to the intensity and do try to take my time with it so as not to hurt myself or whatever. AH! The long handle is fantastic, too! That’s a great thing for a short armed, big bellied fatty like me! Long cord, long handle, never ending vibes: happy ‘bating! Ha-ha!

I was always too scared to spend the money on this sexy legend, but I can honestly say that I wouldn’t hesitate now. And I know many people who use it as a genuine massager for those hard to get knots. Especially in your neck/back/shoulders. All in all this is a great toy and a great buy. Do you have one of these babies? Tell me what you think, what works for you, tips, tricks, etc! 🙂

TMI Tuesday!!!

November22

This TMI Tuesday post is a review of a Sex Toy! If this doesn’t interest you, you’d rather not know about my sex life or toy preference, or you’re at work and don’t wanna get in trouble, do come back tomorrow for your regularly scheduled random fatty talk right here on my blog-a-ma-thing. Thanks! <3

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Every time I go to Good Vibrations in San Francisco, I try to buy something. To support them, to support my sexual well being and well, it’s an awesome place to shop. I find it hard not to look around and grab a little something before I leave. There are a bunch of reasons to go to and support Good Vibrations, but you can find those at the linky there. Today I wanted to talk about the latest toy I purchased.

The C-Spot Vibrator - Click to enlarge
Meet “C-Spot”: The C-Spot has a very special job indeed — its main function is as a clit stimulator, and wow, is it good at its job! Long and thin, the head is angled for the perfect fit on your clit. Slim enough to fit in between bodies during partnered sex, this little vibe also provides an extended reach for folks with disabilities. Not limited to external fun, this vibe also makes a great internal G-spot stimulator. Oh, and it’s waterproof too!
For 22 bucks I snagged up this slim and angled toy. It’s basically a schmancy vibrator…except it’s angled and designed in such a way that it can make clit stimulation either solo or with a partner, fun! I waited to share my personal experience because I’d wanted to try it with a partner and it took me a few days to buy AAA batteries, I thought I had some. Ha-ha!
I’ve tried other schmancy vibes before and they all have their qualities and faults. I had not tried to use them during partner sex and hadn’t even considered it due to my frustrations at the design of said toys. The “C-Spot”, however, did surprise me! For one thing, it’s SLIM! I wouldn’t really recommend it for insertion/penetrative play at all. It just wouldn’t do  much. For masturbating it is perfection! Just the right amount of vibration, not too strong or too weak. I’ve had both ends of that spectrum and would prefer the middle ground. And the “C-Spot” does have an easy to use speed control. Having said that though, the design of the speed control is a bit funny. If you’ve got your hands in motion, as it were, it’s difficult to adjust the speed without stopping all together and adjusting accordingly. Do that a few times and you could kill the mood. That and if you have any lube on your fingers you may not be able to adjust the dial without wiping/drying them first.
Okay, now let’s talk about using this bad boy during partner sex! This was my first go at it, actually. I’d used the “C-Spot” on my own once, but then wanted to see if it really was designed for partner play…and it is! It was such a cinch to slip it between us in a modified missionary position, which was tons of fun. And even while on all fours, perfection! I will say that it was a bit difficult at first to find a good spot to put the rounded/angled tip with all of the moving around and all, but once I did: magic! I love the length of this thing, too! I didn’t feel like I had T-Rex arms for once and actually felt I had some room to move around and experiment with it.
So far this is my favorite vibe! I still like/enjoy my “Lucid Dreams” for solo play and g-spot stimulation, but the “C-Spot” is all I need for a quick self-care session and quite fun for partner sex, too! Actually, I just tried out using the “C-Spot” and “Lucid Dreams” together and I have to say: Awesome!!! I have no deal breaking complaints as I did with the “butterfly kiss.” I recommend this toy for anyone with short arms, fatties who have reaching issues like me and those looking for a little extra something while having penetrative sex, too!
As always, I’d love to hear from you! Do you have a favorite toy? Do you use it during partner sex? What made you buy your last toy? It’s TMI Tuesday, so go ahead, lay it on me! <3

Fatty in Eshakti Pt.1

November7

Yesterday Jeanette and I headed up to San Francisco to catch Virgie Tovar‘s lecture on Intersextions of Fat Positivity & Sex Positivity at Good Vibrations. Well, we were very late. You see, parking in the city is a pain in the ass and well, we spent a good twenty minutes trying to find parking and by the time we did we’d probably missed a good chunk of Virgie’s talk. Bummer. But we went in and the fabulous ladies at Good Vibrations were so kind and helpful and welcoming and even escorted us back to the lecture so we wouldn’t feel weird being so very late.

I wish I could tell you all about the lecture and what I learned or took away from it, but to be honest, and more likely because we’d missed nearly half of it, I have nothing to report. The other ladies that were in the lecture were new to Fat Liberation/Acceptance and I was a little surprised by this, but in a happy way since they were very interested and seemed to want to hear more about it. Always a good thing! And I am learning to be more comfortable telling people about this blog. So far so good.

After the lecture, Jeanette and I stuck around the back room to take in the, um, uh…sights? Ha-ha! Well, the room was covered in crocheted penises!!! It was quite distracting. As someone who in fact crochets I was quite interested on a detailed level, too…but it was funny to be surrounded by it all:

 

There were just so many…everywhere!!! Ha-ha! Some were frilly, some plain, some, um, firm and some soft and it was a delight to look closer and see the individual adornments of the…pieces! Ha-ha! I’m a twelve year old sometimes, sorry.

After snapping some pics and grabbing a business card of the artist, we shopped around the actual store and we both found some new fun things to try out. I may even do a sex toy review again, yay!

Then we high-tailed it out of the city and to a bakery for a bite to eat. It was just so nice to hand out and chat with Jeanette. Even if we missed the lecture, which was a bummer, I still had a great time. We chatted and carbed out and checked out a fancy goodwill store that I swear I will return to. Oh yeah, and I wore one of my new Eshakti dresses:

 

The one I’m wearing is here, but it looks like they took the blue color down. No worries, it’ll probably be back. Little tip, if you see something missing from one day to the next, try just typing in “dress” in the search box and everything will come up. Not to say that they still don’t discontinue things, but I think they reorganize and stuff often and some things get lost in the shuffle. I love this dress, I chose the custom option for 7 bucks as I always do, but it’s always worth it! The cardigan I got at a swap, the boots are from Avenue last year and the tights are actually teggings from Re/Dress.

I highly recommend Eshakti to anyone, anywhere. Invite a friend over, bust out the measuring tapes and take each other’s measurements. It’s fun! And having your measurements on-hand makes online clothing shopping sooooo much easier. I have another dress I haven’t worn yet and another on it’s way…so exciting! Remember, I was the gal who hadn’t worn a dress since high school. I at one point felt I didn’t deserve pretty things or shouldn’t wear dresses for a number of other reasons. Thanks to Lesley Kinzel and my fashion idol,  Nicole, not only do I wear dresses, I rock the hell out of them!

Remember, I stopped giving a damn and now do what makes me happy…don’t  you? Thanks for reading. <3

Lingerie Relics Vs. Just Being Sexy

October12

I’m an avid eBayer and have been for, well, ages. It is my go-to for things I want/need but can’t pay full retail for. I have no problem buying used items most of the time and I was looking for some new lingerie on eBay and was somewhat surprised with what I found. While I understand that some find “foundation garments” to be necessary while others will recoil at their mention, I am not talking about Spanx here, peeps…Nope, I’m talking old school.

I saw everything from panty girdles and waist cinchers to full body shapers and panties with booty inserts. The full spectrum of body shame lay within these “foundations” and while my personal experience with them is limited, my view of them is that of body hate incarnate. I just can’t see it any other way. These contraptions are damaging to the body and the mind. Most of these things were new…with tags! these are no anciet relics, unearthed from bowels of grannies basements, no these are still manufactured TODAY! And all I gotta say is: WHAT THE HELL?!

I had in my mind an image of sexy lingerie for fatties. Satin and lace and frilly little numbers, peek-a-boo whatever and ruffly booty shorts. Those were there, don’t get me wrong, but what I couldn’t shake were the “longline” “full-body” and “power shapers”…Power? UGH!! Some of these things, I wouldn’t even know how to get into, let alone out of. Hooks, snaps, straps and all manner of man made materials, all in the name of “I must not appear fat!”

And can I just say that I never want to hear or see the word “Flattering” ever again?! It’s just fucking code for not fat!! I am over that shit like WHOA! I know we’re a rare and fabulous bunch to be so self accepting and to use and love the word FAT, but it makes it that much harder when faced with the old bullshit baggage of yore.  Also, it is perfectly fine and acceptable, in my opinion, to add touches of lingerie to your wardrobe…that you would wear out of the house! It is, it’s fine and it’s fun!

I think the point of trying to look sexy is to just own it! If you feel sexy, you will be, no matter what you are wearing. No one embodies this more than my gorgeous and lovely friend Virgie Tovar! She is sexy. She makes you feel sexy just talking to her. She pushed the envelope and the boundaries that say fat cannot be sexy. Fuck that shit! We can all be sexy, if we want to be. There is the bottom line, if you want to. If you don’t, no worries. Keep on keepin’ on! But if you do? Go for it! Be it!

I adore this article Virgie wrote for The Sex Positive Photo Project! It’s almost all text, but the ads are not safe for work, or the text for that matter. But I love how she sees fats as anarchists and revolutionaries. I know it took me a long time to see how things like Burlesque could be political and not just fun or sexual. Sexuality itself is political and my view of my own sexuality has absolutely evolved since becoming involved and in love with fat liberation/acceptance. Not once does she mention having to smooth or shape or cinch in order to fit an ideal. Because that is some heavy bullshit. I can be dead sexy without a thread on my body, why the hell buy some horrific contraption to appear as something you’re not? You don’t have to and you shouldn’t. Just be you! You’re fabulous!!!

Finding Your Sexy

June3

I know the title sounds a bit corny, I do, but it’s also the only way I could think of to describe what I’ve been going through lately. So tough shit! Ha-ha! j/k. Anyway, finding your sexy can be hard. Even for those who dress or may appear sexy to others. For me it seems to be a fluctuating thing. Even when my hormones are all a-ragin’ I can still feel unsexy, extremely so sometimes. I’m not saying you have to feel sexy all of the damned time because that isn’t always appropriate, ya know?! But there were days when I just couldn’t find it in myself to even think that I could ever be sexy. But that thought pissed me off a bit and so I decided to find it on my own!

Now several months ago, gosh, I can’t remember which month, but I was on a free tele-class hosted by the ever fabulous Golda Poretsky about how to feel sexy at any size. At the time I attended the class on a lark. What I got out of it was mostly some fat acceptance 101 stuff, but I enjoyed hearing Golda’s enthusiasm and supportive tone and stories. And the many callers who asked questions at the end of the class made me realize just how common it is to not feel sexy. I  consider Golda not just a friend, but an amazing resource and confidant when it comes to food and body issues. Do check out her blog over at BodyLoveWellness.com

Then as some of you may recall, I fell into a terrible funk and just couldn’t shake it for some time. When I finally did come out of it, I guess I wasn’t truly out of it at all. It’s a strange state I was in, for sure, but I just didn’t feel like anything. I was disconnected from myself and my body and whatever passion I had once had. Boo! My friends were so kind and supportive and really were there for me even though I didn’t know what I needed. My fellow fatty bloggers were there for me, too! They always inspire me. As do my readers/commenters (seriously, I don’t bite, please say hello). It was just a strange time for me I guess.

And then the hormones went into overdrive! Whoa! I was unprepared for the sudden sex drive I had. I’d never been like that before. And for weeks on end? Nuts! But I didn’t necessarily feel sexy. I wanted sex, but feeling desirable is another story all together. I didn’t exactly wake up one day determined to feel sexy or anything, but I did start doing things I either hadn’t done in ages or at all. First thing was I watched the films “Before Sunrise” & “Before Sunset” which are very sexy, but not rom-coms at all! And Ethan Hawke is mighty easy on these eyes, so that totally helped. I dunno, I think it was just the sweetness and tension and longing of those films, and damn they end nicely, that got me thinking along those lines.

Then of course was Virgie’s Burlesque class at Good Vibrations! Just walking into GV had me feeling more sexy. And with the moves Virgie taught us I knew I had found a way to get there again. Very simple moves, mind you, but it’s all in your frame of mind! Anyone can shimmy and shake! After that I watched some old Betty Hutton movies and even toyed with the idea of becoming a burlesque performer myself (Virgie inspired me, what can I say, but I don’t think I’m there just yet). And then I just started to fucking dance again! DANCE!!! Why did I ever leave you?!

You don’t even know…I have loved to dance my entire life! I still remember dance routines from when I was five and six years old (but don’t you dare put me on the spot–talking to you Jery). I went out dancing with some friends to a BBW club in Oakland and had the greatest time! When I was dancing it was like I reconnected with my body. I reconnected with dance! I found myself sexy even if I’m a big fat white valley girl, I felt fantastic! And that feeling (after the soreness went away) bled into my wanting to dance every day! And I try to do just that. Even if it’s just at home with the pug or in my cafe with my iPod. I dance! And I love to dance! And I feel fucking awesomely sexy doing it!

I see my boobs jiggle when I shimmy and my booty bounce when I shake my hips and it feels so fabulous. And if you’re unfamiliar with the more goth style of dancing, it’s a lot of slow and expressive, but fluid arm movements. You can go in any direction with dance and feel sexy. I’m not talking about looks here, I don’t always look sexy when I dance, but I can feel it every time if I want to. The music matters, too, of course. Luckily for me the new Lady Gaga has proven to give much need for some dancing around my apartment (the pug just doesn’t understand and gives that side cocked look of confusion every time while the tabby protests and leaves the room, too funny). I just can’t help it now. If I hear a good beat, a great song or an old time fave? I start moving now and I love that! I had forgotten how to do that.

What really sealed it for me though was fantasizing! I hadn’t fantasized in a sexual way in ages. I had forgotten how! And then I had an erotic dream that gave me plenty of inspiration and when I woke up I didn’t want it to end (we’ve all been there, right?) and so I fantasized the continuation of it. And then I realized how powerful that was and felt. That I could just fantasize about something and get all tingly? Fabulous!!! And so I did and I do. And I put on some music, have a glass of wine and I dance or fantasize and if my husband isn’t around I’ll masturbate with this fantasy in mind and nothing feels sexier!

So today I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt and even my hair is a bit dorky, but you know what? I totally feel sexy! I’m having a great boob day (when they just look fab for whatever reason) and while it’s laundry time for sure, I just feel it! I feel it mostly in my hips, but any booty shakin’ is good in my book!

So how do you make yourself feel sexy? Did you forget that part of yourself, too? How did you get it back? What do you fantasize about? What makes you dance? Tell me, babies, because I love this and I love you and we should all just dance and juggle and shimmy-shake and have the best time of our lives! <3

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