I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Role of Fat Females in Entertainment


Fattiboombalatti here:

Okay so I admit that I have been under a rock for the past year. Working full time and finishing up my masters degree full time kind of does this to a person.  So I was hanging out with some g-friends o’ mine at a karaoke bar and one of them picked a song that I knew subconsciously, Adele. Her music video came on and I would like, double take… WHAT? A chubby chick with a banging voice actually got a music video?!?!  Can it be that the world is thawing in its hatred of fatties? Is it possible that a luscious fatty that I am instantly in love with can actually be known for her music without adhering to the narrow definitions of “beauty” being currently promulgated by our culture?

So I ran into this article about Adele:

 The article talks about the role of fat women in the entertainment industry: either they are “sideshow” attraction for the entertainment industry, or if they commit to losing weight and are they traitors to who they are. We have seen this latter phenomenon ad nauseum : rad fatty with killer voice/acting ability loses sudden and dramatic weight with her (or his) “I did weight watchers.” Story scoffed by one and all.

This last piece particularly reminds me of something that happened to me when I was in college. I was a rad fatty then and I had rad fatty friends but ended up spending a year in China. During that year I lost a lot of weight, not that I noticed because in China I was considered Sasquatch like in proportions and I was miserable there so when I came back to be enveloped in the soft loving arms of my friends I was kept at a distance. At lunch with them I made a fat joke and was promptly told by them that they were uncomfortable with my joke because clearly I wasn’t like them anymore. Oy Vey!  I was hurt by that because even when I have passed for thin, inside I am and will always be a fat girl. The body that somehow meanders to normal still houses a fat soul.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that we all, all of us as a society, focus too damn much on looks, size, weight, blah blah blah. I don’t know about you, but I am kinda sick and tired of the obsession with the self and how the body is used as a social marker for where we “belong” and who we can be associated with. The whole thing is just one damn hot mess when really we as a society should be thinking about oh I don’t know how about being good and kind people? Helping others or working to resolve the environmental damage we are wrecking as a species?

But none of that can happen until we decide that no one body is inherently better, or more morally upright than any other. That our talents and skills and abilities should be judged by their own merit not as an accoutrement to our looks. Naïve? Yeah probably. But I honestly don’t see any other way around it.  The day that singers like Adele (who is clearly an inbetweenie at least it looks like it to me) can also burst on the scene as a deathfat and the only thing you hear is, “wow her voice is stunning!” is the day I can finally step down from this soap box with a feeling that my work is done.

Animal Body


Hey everyone!

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Jenna (aka Fattiboomballatti) and I have been honored to guest post with notblutatall’s blog here about my thoughts/opinions/observations/and fatactivism as that pop up in me head as they do upon occasion.

Today I wanted to talk about fitness and living in our animal bodies. I grew up as a lifelong fatty and the connection between my brain and my body has often been a mysterious and estranged thing. I remember in elementary school wearing very baggy and strange clothes given to me by my mom that were adult sized and adult fashioned and no doubt an added reason for my social ostracism by children my own age. I specifically remember once accidentally touching my belly and snatching my hand back as if I had touched something naughty, like I was not allowed to touch my body, or if I touched it then it would magically appear for everyone else to see. I didn’t do sports cause… well for one thing we didn’t have any money for sports but all the other things that I am naturally good at I stopped myself from learning cause fat girls don’t cheerlead, they don’t do dancing troupes and well… basically they should just disappear (and that’s TOTALLY another post for another time). So not only did society ingrain in me a deeply imbedded shame about my body to the point that I disconnected her from my mind, but society also told me that I could not live in the physical world in a fat body. I disappeared myself to the point even I could not recognize the value in my body and escaped it whenever I could.

Now that I am a grown ass adult capable of making my own decisions I have made this summer the start of my new relationship with my body. Oh, I have worked out before, primarily to try to lose weight… working out was punitive and it came from a place of lacking; a crumbly little act by a blighted soul. My attitude towards living and working within my body now is much much different. I work out because it feels so hard and delicious and empowering. About a few months ago I started doing Zumba. It was really hard at first but I loved it because while I am clumsy as hell normally for some reason when there is a beat I become graceful, the choreography changes enough to keep my mind engaged and I love feeling sexy as my hips glide and boobs are rockin it. Then afterwards during the cool down stretch something new happened to me, with a quick thought I realized that I had spent the last few minutes totally in synch with my physical animal body drained of higher order thinking. And it felt really really good!

So since that time I have included lap swimming in my routine (and wii’s dance 2 Big Girl You ARE Beautiful). Not to lose weight. There is no desire to take on all that THAT “entails” but to take back my right to live in my body to move my body to feel strong and powerful and beautiful in my body as she is now. Watching how she gets stronger every day and works to increase her capacity and joy also fills me with a rage of injustice that I was so marginalized as a fat person that I completely delinked my mind to my body nor paid it any heed for years. I feel guilty and sad that I who had let my body down by putting her down, by berating her and ignoring her that even with all that I have been rewarded with health and growth. It makes me doubly determined to treat my body right, to live within this body with gratitude and thoughtfulness and to care for her like I would care for a favored child, a cherished pet.

How about you? Were you disconnected from your body? How did you link back up?

Thanks for reading!


Newer Entries »
Subscribe to my feed