NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

TMI Tuesday!!!

June25

Today’s post is a review of a personal massager/sex toy. If you know me or would rather not know about my preferences or thoughts on this topic, please come back tomorrow for more of my usual fat talk and thoughts. Thanks! 😉

The following review has in no way shape or form been sponsored by anyone, nor have I been compensated in anyway. This is my own honest review of a personal purchase. 

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Oh dear readers! You always know what I need. Often it’s love and support, advice or solidarity, but when it came down to sexy stuff? You did real GOOD!!! I’d heard from many of you publicly and privately (you can always hit me up at notblueatall@notblueatall.com) that the Hitachi Magic Wand is nothing short of amazeballs. But you also frightened me with tales of it’s strength and intensity “so powerful it can give you an orgasm through a snowsuit….from across the street!” Yikes! But I’m here to share my thoughts on this hot topic! Ha-ha!

So, okay, y’all know I’m broke as fuck, but I did this user study thing at eBay and got a $50 visa gift card. I thought it was the perfect time to give the Hitachi Magic Wand a shot! And so…I did! I ordered it from Amazon and found one with two attachments for a great price. When it arrived I was a bit nervous about trying it. At first I just plugged it in and held it in my hand and then thought, “Hell no!” It was big and powerful and noisy! I put it away and didn’t touch it for a week.

Then I ran out of batteries for my go-to toy and thought, “Fuck it! Let’s do this thang!” and gave the Hitachi a go. WOW! It was too powerful for me that first time. It made me cum so fast I barely noticed. Which, let’s face it, kind of sucked. I just didn’t know what to make of it. Again, I left it alone for awhile. A few days later I thought to myself, “This is supposed to be the end all be all and I need to figure this shit out!” So I put on my favorite porn (“Libidinous Games” if you’re curious…it’s pretty tame and hilariously dubbed, but feel free to share your faves too) and took my time.

Holy Shitballs, Batman! I came so hard I thought I’d have a heart attack or pass out or something! This thing has two settings: “Low” (we’ll call it the clit pounder) and “High” (aka: are you insane?!?!). I can only handle the “Low” setting thus far. I’ve toyed with the “High” but only for like a second because I’d actually like to have a pussy left intact when I’m done masturbating! Ha-ha!

I have used the attachments and I have to say that they aren’t really that great. They make the whole thing noisier (no thank you) and are a pain to remove. I personally enjoyed the curved g-spot one a lot, but the straight one was of no interest to me (tried it, meh). What works best for me is using the curved attachment thingy to, um, penetrate myself vigorously (Ha-ha) and then remove it and focus on clit stimulation. Again, removal is no fun. I suppose you could leave it on but it will muffle the vibrations while simultaneously making the thing super loud. I don’t get it. I know there are other attachments, but until I have a disposable income (what is that again? Ha-ha!) I won’t have a chance to try ’em (let me know what you think of ones you’ve tried in comments, please).

The bottom line for me is that this thing is awesome! It plugs in so no more batteries!!! This has to be the best part. No waning battery life, no expense or trips to the store. It keeps on truckin’! I have sort of gotten used to the intensity and do try to take my time with it so as not to hurt myself or whatever. AH! The long handle is fantastic, too! That’s a great thing for a short armed, big bellied fatty like me! Long cord, long handle, never ending vibes: happy ‘bating! Ha-ha!

I was always too scared to spend the money on this sexy legend, but I can honestly say that I wouldn’t hesitate now. And I know many people who use it as a genuine massager for those hard to get knots. Especially in your neck/back/shoulders. All in all this is a great toy and a great buy. Do you have one of these babies? Tell me what you think, what works for you, tips, tricks, etc! 🙂

Glam When You Can

January5

Growing up poor the word glamorous didn’t even enter my life until high school. I wasn’t yet the word nerd I am now (I know I don’t exactly use my love of words here, wev). Later when the fantastic British comedy Absolutely Fabulous came into my life, I was suddenly obsessed! I bought a metallic silver mini backpack that I wore as a purse for ages! I would wear the weirdest jewelry and shoes! I felt at the time that I was somehow emulating those glamorous women when in fact I was laying the foundations of my own quirky style! I sourced much of my stuffs from Ross (Dress For Less) and the Contempo Casuals Outlet that I worked at.

I also see a hint of what I have found myself doing now which is adding a touch of glam to every day. No matter what I’m wearing or what I am doing I try to add just a little something to make me feel good! I don’t know, I suppose it’s useless or silly to some, but they underestimate the value of silly! Woo! I’m sure some of you have noticed my increasing use of fancy-fucky headbands, this was the reintroduction of glam for me most recently. My collection has grown! Ha-ha! But then rather than a typical blag wrist-let, I went with the silver bangle style. Glam! Instead of my usual “dress docs” (Doc Marten’s I wear to dress up things) I wore my black patent leather shoes with the cutie side bow on NYE! There is something about that little touch of glamor that make me smile.

One thing I adore and use all of the time are these two tote bags I got for free on Black Friday from Avenue (click the pic for the link). I have the red and purple and use them for sooooo much! Mostly groceries as of late, but the reactions I get from baggers and checkers is always fun. But they are great for any damned thing! They are sturdy with nice long straps so I can throw ’em over a shoulder. But they are cheap enough, and because they were

Plus Size Metallic Tote image

The other thing I’ve been enjoying is NYC Cosmetics Liquid Lipshine (click the pic for the link). My friend Jeanette talked me into buying the Midtown Mulberry and I use it almost every day now! It smells like vanilla cupcakes or that raw sugar lotion from bath and body works. It’s just yummy and the color is perfect for me! Even if I’m not wearing any other make up I will slap some of this gloss on and feel FABULOUS!!!

What bit of glam do you add to your daily routine? Do you rock a hair bird or giant flower barrette? I’ve been wanting to try the new nail stamping things, but haven’t truly committed to it yet. I know I have readers who love that stuff. Please recommend a good, beginner and affordable kit or something I could put together myself, perhaps. What other glam things should I check out? Lay it on me!

 

My NYE Was Fab!

January2

I had the best NYE ever!  Not even exaggerating. It was so much fun! Jeanette and I went to a local BBW club and drank ourselves silly! Okay, I think the silly would have happened anyway, but since I’m fully embracing and enjoying the silly, I’m all about it! But they did have drink specials if you bought a pitcher of a cocktail…we ended up with three pitchers! And can I just say how fucking babin’ we looked? Mean, we looked fantastic! It felt like a prom to the two of us, minus the dudes in suits and corsages.

They had this cool red carpet as you walk in and they interviewed people as they arrived. It was very classy! As we walked up and Tigress began to ask us what our resolutions and wishes were for the new year, Jeanette came up with a gem right on the spot, “We don’t Resolute, We Revoloosh!” Which we then quoted throughout the evening. And we had a great spot to sit where we could watch everyone coming in as well as on the dance floor. People would just come up and chat with us, it was lovely!

I’d gotten my dress and petticoat from ChicStar.com and had used a fabulous coupon code and got free shipping. I got the size 28, but it was quite big in the bust, not a good thing for dancing. So I got it tailored and now it fits perfectly! I really should utilize that as an option in the future. I’m wearing my black, winter length teggings. And my Fat necklace that I got on etsy ages ago.

Jeanette got the Dahlia Dress from Swak Designs. Her shoes were gorgeous silver flats from Blowfish. Her shrug or “sleeves” was from LucieLu.com. And I believe her necklace was from Torrid (corrected). The fabric of that dress is so gorgeous, it’s mimics a Dupiani silk, though it is not. I just loved it!

I hope you all had a lovely weekend no matter what you did. 2012 is already fabulous in my book, I just know it will be a year of fun and adventure! I start my new job tomorrow and I’m still working on putting the Fatty Affair together! I am so fucking excited for that! I hope to see some of you there! I just want 2012 to be about positive things and meeting people and just rockin’ the shit out of this thing! Ha-ha! Take care of you! *Hugs* <3

I Bought A Bike!

December16

I found it on ye olde Craigslist and just couldn’t pass it up! It’s a SCHWINN “Jaguar” Ladies!!! I love it and got it for a steal and it’s a solid, steel frame thing. The guy repairs bikes all of the time and sells them, even offered additional services if I needed. Super cool!

PhotobucketI have wanted a bike for about four years, but always talked myself out of it. First, the money was always tight, still it but like I said the price was right as well as the timing. Next was the visibility of it, I mean, you’re like just out there! And the thing I still haven’t gotten over and perhaps won’t for some time: Fear of injury! I am still dealing with pain and stiffness in my knees. One is more stiff/sore while the other is a pulled hamstring. Neither seem to heal and I personally think that living upstairs only exacerbates them daily. I remember just a couple of months ago running around with my Puggyman in the morning or being able to sprint out to the front lawn for our walk. Ugh!

But you know what? All of that still isn’t enough to keep me from getting a bike! Because I have stopped giving a damn what other people think, I want to do what makes me happy and it has been twenty…Yes, you read that right…TWENTY YEARS since I’d been on a bike! And I fully intend to Glam-up my bike, too! I want to paint it to match this helmet…which I must have:

Nutcase Swirl Bike Helmet
When I showed it to my husband he said it looked like a jawbreaker…so now I have to have it! It’s just so fun and seriously? It would totes go with any damned thing I could possibly wear! And if I love the helmet I will want to wear it and use it and the bike itself. The bike even fits in the backseat of my car with some minor finagling. I can’t believe it though…I HAVE A BIKE!!!
I was mega nervous when the guy brought the bike out and said I should take it for a spin. Twenty years?! *DeepBreath* I did it and asked him to lower the seat, then again, then raise the handlebars…he did this all with no question or issue what so ever. Really nice dude. And then it felt better. Not quite right, I mean how could it on the first go, but it fit/was comfy enough that I felt confident buying it on the spot. Well, I asked that he help me get it in my car, which again he did without hesitation. Then he showed me how to take off the front tire and quick-release brakes. So cool! The step-through frame makes all of the difference, especially with my knee.
I will start out in the parking lot of my apartment building and hopefully soon get the courage to venture out into our neighborhood. I’m to going to pressure myself. I recall playing tennis with my husband years ago and getting so upset with myself for not being as good as when I was on the Jr. USTA. Which is silly, I realize that now. Your brain remembers your body being able to do things, but your body without practice easily forgets. I will be patient and just try to enjoy the ride.
This is such a dream come true! I can’t truly explain it just yet. I don’t want to use the word liberating. I just…I dunno! Ha-ha! I’m giddy, that much is certain! I practically lived on my bike as a kid. I rode all over town and even to neighboring ones. It was my faithful steed no matter how I felt or where I wanted to go. I never named a bike before, but this one feels so special and the feelings I’m having about it, too.
Have you been holding yourself back from something for years? Why? What’s holding you back? Let’s talk about it!

It’s The Simple Things…

December5

That can make you feel so friggin’ awesome!!!

Like my tried and true pug-love, he is such a snuggle:

One dollar fingerless gloves from Target, you know those magical dollar bins when you walk in:

New tube of mascara, I am loving Maybelline’s Falsies Flared, just tried the “Drama Black”:

Volum' Express® The Falsies™ Black Drama Waterproof Mascara - Pack Shot

New lip stain for cheap, that claims it is “smooch proof” we’ll just have to see about that:

 

I’m wearing the “Berry Long Time” in the third photo above…I love the color!

Funky sneaker that reminded me of my niece, so I had to have them…they make me feel like a kid and a bad ass:

WomensAirwalkWomen's Tatum Graffiti Skate

What simple things make you feel awesome? Share! <3

 

 

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