Anyone else have a crummy, downer day yesterday? Seems there was something in the air or cosmos that just wasn’t playing nice. We survived it though! We made it to a fresh new day with new possibilities and results. Yesterday all I wanted was to stay in bed, but I dragged myself out of it and got my ass to work anyway.
I’ve been practicing this whole staying present thing and it’s working. I’m not stressing out or worrying, but it has made some things more difficult. Had a few people this week tell me that I’m more quiet than usual. A laugh, for sure because I never shut up, but I think that they are right. I haven’t been talking much. And it has made writing more difficult, too.
I used to use writing as a way to slow down my brain and collect or focus my thoughts. Now when I go to write, there’s just nothing. Which in some ways is nice, but I like writing so this is an odd situation here. Most of this staying present thing was inspired by watching these PBS things on YouTube with my husband the last few weeks. “Eastern Wisdom” by Alan Watts, incredible and often mind-blowing stuff! I watched the entire series and loved it. Though I know it’s not for everyone.
Had you told me that I wouldn’t be worried/stressed/panicking/etc. because of that series? I would think you’re not well. Ha-ha! But it’s true. It’s laid bare some things I’d often wondered and put other things into perspective I probably could not have comprehended before. I’m not completely changed or anything , but my mind is certainly quieter.
I only need to step outside or phone a friend to realize how much of a difference a simple shift of mind can make. I’m far from enlightened, though. I wouldn’t even give or associate this practice with any sort of name at this point. I just want to be a calmer person than I have been these last few months. I just want to help myself feel better over all and be a positive influence to those around me. If I care about someone, I want them to be happy and healthy. Plain and simple!
I ask myself how I do this for myself? What do I do each day to support this philosophy? How could I demonstrate it to others? What does it look like? How does it feel? Because I’ve tried the sitting and clearing your mind sort of meditation and the truth is I can never truly clear my mind. But this newer way of thinking, for me, has been a relief. If a worried thought comes to mind, I acknowledge it and move on. I just let it go. If it persists, I ask what I can do to influence it, if the answer is nothing, I let it go. If I can do something then I consider what the first step might be to get it accomplished so as not to weigh on my mind any long, and I do it.
Why have we been so programmed to believe that we must be everything to everyone and that self sacrifice is our golden reward?! Because that is a heap of bullshit! I know I carry too much as a default setting. I know people who do more things in a day than I do in a month…yet they still feel “lazy” or unproductive. It’s true. But we burden ourselves with these thoughts and emotions. No one can give them to you. No one can carry them for you either. We choose to do this and we accept it as the only way to be.
I encourage you to question this way of thinking. How does it benefit you or anyone for that matter? Because I think if we just scratch the surface and look a tiny bit deeper that we will see it’s unnecessary. We can be happier and healthier and better over all without all of this burdensome and stressful baggage. What do you think?