NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

A Moment for Humility & Assertion

September17

 You know, almost anything you feel you “have to” do, like cleaning and washing, can become a chore, even a drudgery; while those things that remain optional, like Disney World and Twister, can seem far more inviting, even fun.

So, as you go down the path of life, particularly when it seems you must force yourself through the motions, it just may help if you pause and give thought to the countless souls who’d give most anything for the option of even your “chores.”

Life… it can sometimes be like one of those really, really “good problems,” huh?

Tallyho,
The Universe

Touche` Universe! My head was in that exact same space. I was driving in to work this morning and listening to KPFA(.org) and I am not sure who the guest was, but they were talking about the disappearing middle class versus the sprawling of poverty in the U.S. I may not have that quite right, but the point is that their conversation made me think about myself, my friends and my family and how in the last two years our lifestyles have gone from comfortable, but not by any means rich, to struggling every damned day to pay the bills.

I read something yesterday about the cost of health care having gone up some astounding percentage and this made me think of England and France and every other country who has free universal health care for it’s citizens. *sigh* And what a mess we’ve made of our own health care systems here. I mean, it’s not the like the actual cost of doing the same procedure/job/etc went up…no the insurance companies simply keep raising their prices! No real reason for it other than the fact that they can. Plain and simple! And how sick it makes me feel to think or even to know in some instances that I will probably be denied medical treatment at some point in my life due to nothing but my size.

This made me realize that I should talk to my husband about this, specifically, because if something did happen to me and I was unable to advocate for myself, he would have to and I think he should be well informed when the time comes. And we never know when that time may come. Sobering thought.

Taking a moment each day to be humble and grateful for all that I have and even for what I don’t has really helped me stay grounded and happy. It has given me sort of a check-in moment and allows me to see that even on a “bad” day, things aren’t so bad at all.

I’ve been reading Linda Bacon’s “Health At Every Size” and every day something just sort of slaps my face and says, “OH MY GAWD! EVERYTHING I’VE EVER BEEN TOLD ABOUT MY BODY AND DIETING IS A DAMNED LIE!” and it makes me so very thankful that she wrote this amazing book. I seriously want to buy a copy for everyone I know! I wish it was in every school library in the universe! I know I will be buying at least five copies for various family members who truly need this information. I want to send one to Michelle Obama! How could I do that, or more to the point, how could I get her to read it?

I wish I could commit the entire book to memory. I want to carry it with me so that when ignorance attacks I can defend myself or fight back with actual knowledge and wisdom and facts…scientific facts! (Oh man, I so held back the urge to type “scien-fucking-tific facts!” Ha-ha!) It pains me to the core when I think of the amazing and incredible people who’s lives have been shortened or taken away entirely by a corrupt and misguided medical industry. To find out that it’s the exact same people (sometimes) that are screwing up our own government with the lobbying and whatnot. UGH! I want to scream at the heavens and shake my fist at, well, everything!

How do we get the truth out when it has no corporate backing?! Reading “Health At Every Size” has made me realize that all of the anomalies in my life actually aren’t anomalies at all! I’m normal in the sense that I am healthy. My numbers have always come back normal (blood pressure, cholesterol, fasting glucose levels) and always to the chagrin of doctors & nurses who read them to me.

The “thin is in” trend comes and goes, but mostly goes as larger lovelies always come back into vogue. I think the only reason it’s held us in it’s grips this long this time around is due to the invention of marketing either in print or television or what have you. It’s taken hold of our society and while I have begun to see more and more people of size in the media, it’s nowhere near normalized yet.

And that’s where fat activists come in: we must be publicly fat! We must stop using words that make other people comfortable and start using the word FAT! Make them shift in their seats if they must, let them hold onto the lies if they insist, but they will never be able to tell me again that I am wrong or other or not worthy of any damned thing! We need to encourage each other and support one another and for once I just want to see a happy fat on t.v. instead of the continuously humiliated and depressed or abused fats on reality shows.

This weekend, while I’m out walking or shopping or serving organic goods to my customers, I will hold my head up high with a full heart and a knowing smile. I will welcome conversation and open dialogue. I will use the word fat in places where I would have otherwise referred to myself as a “big gal” or “plus sized” or “my size” and I will not allow other people’s negativity to seep into my consciousness!

Because I am worthy and strong and fat and happy and healthy (and many think I shouldn’t exist)…too bad for them, I AM A UNICORN!!!

*If you would like your own messages from “the universe” sign up for free here: www.tut.com

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5 Comments to

“A Moment for Humility & Assertion”

  1. On September 17th, 2010 at 8:07 pm Anna Says:

    I. LOVE. THIS POST.

    This post has totally psyched me up! I’m going to be so unapoligetically fat at EVERYBODY.

    FUCK YES!

  2. On September 17th, 2010 at 11:58 pm Erin Marie Says:

    You are an inspiration and it is posts like these that made me link you on my blog yesterday. Just by being you out there in the public, you help me to realise that I can do the same. Thanks for just being yourself. 🙂

  3. On September 18th, 2010 at 8:33 am Not Blue at All Says:

    You are going to make me cry! You’re too sweet, but truly it is because I know I didn’t have the courage that I do now and it’s so important for us to be out and about and not afraid. When you lock eyes with another fatty in public, you’ll both just know and that is the greatest ever! Thank you for the link-love. Thank you for reading and commenting. And thank YOU for being YOU!

  4. On November 17th, 2010 at 9:13 am j. Says:

    Great post! Keep up the great work!! I am catching up on reading now that I have some time. :-)! Love it!

  5. On November 17th, 2010 at 10:47 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Yay! Thank you.

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